4 Super Tips That Ensure Good Conversation
Once you have a conversation started keeping it going is sometimes the hardest part. Good conversation can sometimes be hard to come by. People have a way of turning a great start into a horrible exchange that leaves everyone wanting to run away.Learning a little bit about what to avoid and how to bring everyone into a good conversation can help you to avoid horrible situations.The following guidelines will outline some things you should and should not do during a conversation. Using these guidelines throughout your conversations you will find that you tend to have more good conversation than bad.
Read over these guidelines and start putting them to use as you go about your day and converse with others.
- Respect the context.The major point of good conversation is knowing what to say and what not to say. This can mean both topics of conversation, but also the context.For example a conversation you would have with your best friend may not be the type of conversation you have with the cashier at the grocery store.You should know what topics are okay to say to certain people. Knowing this will help you to avoid making someone uncomfortable.
- Communicate with confidence.You should not be second guessing yourself throughout the whole conversation. The best way to be confident is to stick to talking about topics you know something about.When this is not possible because someone else brought up a topic you know nothing about then you can ask questions and take an interest. That way you will be able to continue in the conversation.Do not try to talk about something you know nothing about. This just makes you look like a know it all who really knows nothing and shoots your creditability down.
- Take time to listen.Practice those listening skills you learned in grade school. Try not to take over the conversation. If you are the only one talking then you need to try to draw others into the conversation by asking them questions or introducing a topic you can all talk about.If you always talk and never listen then you will not be able to connect with others or learn about them. In other words you will not make friends because you will come off as only caring about yourself.
- Avoid sensitive issues.There are some topics you probably should never bring up unless you want a debate. Most often people avoid topics like religion and politics. They just have too much room for disagreement. You can make people feel uncomfortable and even make enemies by bringing these things up.Other topics like sex or health problems may just be in poor taste, depending on the company. Use your common sense and avoid topics that can cause problems or make others uneasy.
As soon as you are completely comfortable implementing these to do's and not to do's in your daily conversation you will discover that people will love talking with you and you may end up being more popular than ever.Good conversation is hard to come by and once people know you are a good conversationalist then you will become the person to talk to.
5 Magical Ways to Make A Great Impression
Having a conversation seems very natural to some people, but to others it is a struggle every time. There is no need to feel frustrated or upset every time you are faced with a situation where you must be involved with a conversation.Conversation is essential and important to every day life.
If you avoid conversation with others they may see you as aloof. Thinking you do not value what they have to say or think they are not worth your time. You can gain a unfavorable social image if you avoid conversation.
Here are five great tips that can help you to overcome whatever may be bothering you about conversation:
- How to answer rude or inappropriate questions.Some people are very bad at the art of conversation and may say something off beat. They may ask an extremely personal question or just make a comment that is not appropriate.To handle this situation you should politely give a short answer or reply without drawing attention to the situation and then move on. Change the subject or if the person just piped up with this, go back to the original conversation.
- What to do when you run out of things to talk about.If you are constantly watching others and paying attention to what they are talking about you shouldn't run out of things to say because you can direct the conversation down the path it is on.If you do find the conversation running out then try to find something common to talk about. This will bring everyone back into the conversation and allow it to pick up again. Some good topics are current events or something about the place you are at.
- How to kick up a conversation.Sometimes for lack of better things to talk about a conversation can get boring. If people are not interested in what is being talked about they will stop talking or leave. You do not want to end up with silence or awkward good byes.So if you feel the conversation is dragging try to bring up something different than what you have been talking about. This is a good time to state an interesting fact you know or to share a hobby. Pet peeves are another good thing that will liven up the conversation.
- How to deal with a topic you know nothing about.Sometimes you will find that the people you are having a conversation with bring up a topic you know nothing about. In this case you have the opportunity to use your listening skills.You should take interest in learning about this topic by asking questions. This shows you are interested in the other person and you care about what they have to say.
Mastering the Art of Conversation
Being comfortable with the art of conversation is essential to your long term happiness and well being.The art of conversation comes so easily to some, but for others it is a real struggle. Learning how to get past those things that stand in your way are the first step to learning the art of communication.There are common reasons why people tend to feel uncomfortable about conversation.
The following list explains these reasons and how to overcome them so you can be a master of conversation.
- Fear. -- Many people fear others will think they are not intelligent or that they do not belong in the conversation. First of all you must recognize that many others feel the same way.You need to be confident about yourself. The best way to do this is to talk about things you know about. If you try to join a discussion where you have no idea what they are talking about you may end up looking ignorant.Even in these cases, though, there is a way to avoid feeling bad. You just need to ask questions. Questions are the best way to learn and others will appreciate the fact that you are interested enough to learn about what interests them.
- Nothing to say. -- Starting a conversation is sometimes difficult, but it doesn't have to be. The best way to start a conversation is to talk about something that everyone can relate to.Some good conversation topics include, pet peeves, asking about family or employment and talking about current events. Finding common ground brings everyone into the conversation and leads to great communication.If you are worried about conversation suddenly stopping or not being able to find something to continue talking about then use these same tips.Bring up a new topic or ask questions about the old topic. Just keep the tone friendly and you should be able to continue the conversation easily.
- Offending someone. -- Sometimes we worry that we will say something wrong and offend someone. For example, we make a comment about a certain profession only to find out someone in the group is in that profession.The best way to avoid these mishaps are to not say negative things. Simply keep your comments complementary.
Do not talk about hot button issues like religion and politics. Also avoid anything that could be seen as racist or prejudice.These three things are the main reason why many people avoid conversation all together. Communication is essential to social and emotional growth.
To avoid a good conversation is only damaging to you.You can overcome thses worries and fears to become a great conversationalist. Just follow the tips above and you should see that the art of conversation is nothing to be afraid of or avoid. It can open up new worlds to you and create many long lasting relationships
What To Do When People Don´t Listen To You
Whether you like it or not sometimes people will ignore you
or pretend they are listening to you when they are not. As
you know this can be very frustrating.
So what can you do?
The first thing to remember is that there is no point in
continuing to do what is not working. If what you are doing
is ineffective take a moment to accept that fact.
Shift your focus away from pushing to be heard and instead
get creative and ask yourself...
How can I attract attention?
Here are 4 great ideas for attracting attention when you
want to be listened to:
1. Speak more softly
This sounds counter intuitive but can be highly effective
if you had attention initially . Think about it. When
someone is speaking and you cannot hear what is being said
doesn´t that arouse your curiosity?
Of course it does!
And most people will ask you to speak up as long as they
are not preoccupied doing something else. The secret is to
speak with enthusiasm and energy but very softly. This can
ignite an intense urgent curiosity that forces the other
person to pay very close attention to you.
When you speak more softly the other person has no choice -
she must pay close attention to you. This is a great way to
take control of the conversation.
2. Stop talking
If the other person is pretending to listen to you it is
good to stop talking. Stop and wait to see how the other
person reacts.
Let the silence linger until he encourages you to resume.
If he says nothing at all you can then ask for feedback on
what you said.
This puts the other person under pressure to start paying
more attention to what you are saying.
3. Create a diversion
When the other person is clearly not paying attention it is
good to break that pattern by creating a diversion. This
can take many forms such as asking for input, saying
something controversial or doing something silly.
For example you could ask an unusual question that forces
someone to pay attention and respond in some way. Maybe out
of the blue you ask someone: what is your favorite flavor
of ice cream?
Yes, it has nothing to do with the ongoing conversation and
for this reason it breaks the pattern - you are speaking
and the other person is not really paying attention.
Once you recapture attention you can then get back on
topic. Obviously you need to be careful with this concept
and adapt it to the context and people you are talking to.
4. Vary volume, tempo and tone
When you add variety to the way you are expressing yourself
it is very hard to ignore you. It´s like when you hear good
music it forces you to listen because of the variance in
tempo, rhythm and tone. The same applies to speaking in an
interesting way.
Play with emphasizing key words, pause for dramatic effect
and talk more quickly or more slowly to keep the other
person paying attention.
It takes a little practice to get this right and when you
do people will find it very difficult to not give you their
undivided attention.
Developing these people skills may require some work and
dedication, depending on the extent of help you need. One
of the most important parts of being a "people person" is
to be a positive thinker who is optimistic, motivated and
projects a positive image and attitude.
You should work every day to send out positive and creative
signals to others by your words, actions and body language.
The way you act can have either a negative or positive
impact on others as well as yourself.
If you want to succeed in both your personal and
professional life, or further develop your people skills,
it is crucial to change from a pattern of destructive,
negative thoughts to positive, creative thinking.
Don't hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to increase your people skills.
How To Start A Good Conversation In 6 Easy Ways
Good conversation is an important skill in almost everysituation. Whether it's on the job, with spouse orchildren, in a social setting or everyday life, goodconversation is important.The way we communicate determines how we are seen or perceived by others.
Good conversation is based on a sensitivity to others and thankfully it is a learnable skill once you pay more attention to others.Developing good conversation skills will allow you to feelmore at ease when conversing with others and will help you say what you really want to convey.
- Adopt a pleasing voice toneThink about your tone, for good conversation it should bepleasing, not too loud or too soft.If you are talking too loudly you might be considered anunpleasant conversationalist and who will want to talk toyou? Good conversation requires you to be agreeable.If you are speaking too softly and people have to strain tohear you, they might get tired of trying to listen. This will of course prevent a good conversation developing.
- Prepare thoroughly before the eventConsider some things you might need or want to say before you are at that job interview or party if you want to ensure a good conversation.It will be helpful to think this through and even practiceout loud. You will come across as being confident andintelligent.You can almost guarantee good conversation by preparing thoroughly in advance of the event.
- Remember to listen as well as talkDon't feel you need to dominate in order to have a goodconversation.Even if you are quite charming it won't be long before others are weary of hearing the same voice. Good conversation does not mean taking over the conversation!Keep this in mind and it will be easier to have a good conversation
- Know how to handle resistanceHow will you handle unpleasant conversations? Remember not all conversations start off looking like a potential good conversation.What will you do if you are criticized or if someonedisagrees with you? Think of ways to face these situations before they happen.To have a good conversation you need to be flexible andbe ready to handle difficulties that crop up. The art of having good conversation does not mean everything goes smoothly at all times.If you can remain calm and fairly pleasant during the toughtalks you will improve and acquire good conversation skills. You will also earn a reputation as someone who can easily be talked to.
- Keep learning and improve over timeThink of your last embarrassing conversation, one that was the opposite of a good conversation.How did you do? Could there be improvement? If the answeris "yes" begin by figuring out why the conversation was embarrassing. This will help you to develop good conversation skills.Let's say someone asked you when you are planning to havechildren. Even though this may not be anyone's business howdo you want to respond?You do have choices. You can be funny, charming, rude orelusive. Again, plan ahead for some of these questions anddecide how you want to react.As you learn how to start a good conversation and find themmore of the time you can have good conversation your confidence will soar and you will get better and better.
- Cultivate great listening skillsOne of the most important parts of good conversation islistening. It's a gift and a skill, one that you can develop if it doesn't come easily for you. Good conversationis impossible without good listening skills.
Don't forget to listen because it is essential for goodconversation skills! Neglect this key skill and it will bevirtually impossible to have a good conversation.
Do You Make This Mistake When Talking To People?
Did you know that Harry Houdini, the famous escape artist, once failed to escape from an unlocked box?His own mind created the reality that kept him confined when in fact he was only seconds from freedom.The same is true for you and I.
We live in a world of self-imposed limitations. For the most part false belief systems prevent you from being yourself with the people you meet on a day to day basis.Deep down you may believe that it is safer to stay out of the way because that you´ll avoid the criticism, rejection and resistance of others.
While this may be true in a a few cases most people are just like you and I. All they want is to be friendly and to enjoy the company of other decent people like you.
But, your self-imposed limiting beliefs stop you from being yourself. By trying to blend in with the crowd you lose your personality and may even become uninteresting. It becomes an effort dealing with you.All because you are hiding your true nature...
Don´t you ever wish you could be more yourself? Imagine no longer having to pretend to be someone you are not. And imagine feeling comfortable saying what you really think instead of what you think you should be saying.
How can you unlock the door to better relationships? How can you expand your circle of friends? And, how can you start to be yourself regardless of what other people might say?
The secret has very little to do with the words you speak and a great deal to do with how you handle so called negative emotions. You need to use uncomfortable feelings as signals and opportunities to grow.Let me give you an example.
Let´s say I meet someone and I find myself overly concerned with winning approval. The clutching feeling in my stomach is a signal. It does not mean avoid the person it means let go of wanting approval and do so right away.If I don´t drop this needing approval I know what will happen next.
I may start to get overly concerned about what I am going to say AND how I say it. Next, I could get nervous and start worrying about making a bad impression.And before I know it my mind could go blank and I might be standing there stuck for words. All because one negative emotional state got out of control.You´ll notice that the negative thoughts can produce the unwanted reaction in the other person.
If I become tense and needy it is much more likely the other person will not give me approval.Let this be a lesson to you - catch these heavy emotions as soon as you spot them because negative emotion builds very quickly until it is much more difficult to pull yourself back together again.The same applies to worries about rejection.
If it gets out of control what you fear may well appear. The fear that you might be rejected causes you to make a bad impression.You get tense and make the other person nervous. Before you know it he or she wanders off and you are left on your own feeling rejected.
Communication is very much like an ice berg in that 90% of effective communication has nothing to do with words. Once you master your emotional state it is easy to play the body language game.When you feel relaxed, playful and at ease talking to people you´ll have fun matching and mirroring.
In fact, you´ll find that a lot of the time others are following your lead.
Why?
Because when you feel great regardless of how the other person responds you give off a relaxed confidence that draws people in. They then follow your lead.Of course the most limiting emotional state of all is fear.
When you are fearful you give off different vibes andbecause you are avoiding people they tend to avoid you.And this is why you must identify and let go of yourconversation fear - the fear that stops you from enjoyingthe company of others.
