How to develop Self Confidence
It may have taken you years to get to the point where you recognize this shortfall in your personality, but you must also realize that you can change the situation by taking advantage of strategies that can build your self-confidence.
- If you want to become self-confident, do a bit of research on how to develop that part of your personality that is begging to come out and be recognized.It is an integral part of your very being that makes you approachable and displays your warmth and caring personality to others.
- Just as Rome wasn't built in a day, your level of self-confidence isn't going to increase overnight; it could take time to develop into the self-assured person you want to become.You must be willing to learn how to use the proven self-confidence tips that are easily found in self-help books.In extreme cases it may take professional counseling to overcome the hindrances that keep you from developing your true personality.
- Once you accept the fact that you need a bit of help in developing self-confidence, it becomes easier to accept the help that is available.You are probably an individual who is not functioning at your highest level of creativity who needs a little nudge to start you off in the right direction to achieve your goals.
- Each person must develop his or her own personalized plan of action when developing greater confidence.You may want to be a social butterfly that longs to be the life of the party, or you may want to be known as the intellectual who is knowledgeable about any subject.Whatever your dream, you can make it happen.
- You must open yourself to new ideas and techniques to overcome shyness and social ineptness. You must develop a high energy level and a willingness to learn.You will need to elevate your ambitions and develop an understanding of your capabilities and potential for success.
- An aura of vitality and confidence is needed to convince others that you are self-confident. By developing people skills you will cultivate greater self-confidence. You can create an air of total confidence without seeming to be arrogant.
Be open to others and their ideas, and contribute something of your own to each conversation without being overbearing.One of the inherent traits of the human personality is the ability to dream. The inner potential found in each person will contribute greatly to achieving those dreams.
7 simple tips for getting the confidence you want...
- Spend time each day with confident people. Their energy and inner strength is so inspiring that you will find yourself feeling more empowered just by listening to them talk.And you can get tips from them. All you need to do is ask! Even one good idea could point you in a whole new direction you would not have otherwise considered.
- Find a mentor.Nearly all successful people have a mentor. You too need someone who has already done what you are working to achieve who is willing to advise you. This person will help you to succeed even more quickly than you can imagine. Remember, two minds are better than one.When you have someone who believes in you and you have a plan you believe in -- your confidence will soar.
- Understand that confidence is only a feeling.Have you ever felt confident? If you have ever felt confident in any situation then you can feel confident again in the future.How? By re-accessing that confident feeling. This is something that is worth doing every day. Spend 15 minutes a day reliving occasions in your life when you felt confident. Imagine it all in rich detail and pay very close attention to the feelings of confidence.After only a few days, feeling confident will become a good habit.
- List your reasons to be confidentBecoming aware of why you can be confident will help you get back on track. Make a list of at least 50 reasons why you can be confident today. Include previous successes, your skills and qualities, your support network and your goals. Put down everything that pops into your mind.After you have done this you will have tapped into the power of consistency. You will be under pressure to be consistent with your own logic that stated you can be confident.
- Make a public declarationTell someone whose opinion you value that you will be confident at a particular event. Your desire to impress this person will cause you to do all that you can to be at your very best. And when you demand more of yourself you will be amazed at what you can do. You will start finding solutions to problems that left you stuck and you will seek advice from people who can help you.
- Preparation makes perfectHave you ever watched a top sportsperson in action and wondered to yourself at how easy she makes it look? Or listened to your favorite music CD and felt inspired by the talent of the singer?Think. How did these superstars get to the top? Practice, practice and more practice. I read an article about Pavarotti, the opera singer, and he said he practices daily and he still learns something new about his voice each day!When you spend more time honing your skills your confidence will soar because you will know with certainty that you can and will perform when the curtain goes up.
- Self comparison is keyCompare your progress in life with your previous results. Look to the success of others to learn and not to measure your own success.When you put your focus on the daily improvement of your own skills and abilities you can and will grow very quickly. And your confidence will surge.
Confidence without competence is a dangerous combination.Make it easy for yourself and only engage in self-comparison when you are assessing your progress. By doing this you will make it easier to keep at it when the going gets tough and your competence will grow day by day.
Confidence Building With Enthusiasm
You have the power to enthusiastically undertake a program of personal confidence building. Does this statement surprise you? It shouldn't, because you were born with the power to observe, make reasonable assumptions and decisions.
How you develop your power depends upon your personality as well as the environment you grew up in. As youngsters (and adults as well) you may have been told that you are stupid, dumb, no good, etc.Don't you believe it!
If you are one of these unfortunate ones who grew up under such circumstances, or if you have not developed a high confidence level, now's the time to learn confidence building techniques that can change your life.
You can go from failure to success in every aspect of your life when you develop confidence building skills that may make you seem like a different person who is focused, balanced, energetic, enthusiastic and confident.
It's easy when you are armed with the proper knowledge to guide you through the confidence building process.
- Associate with people whom you admire for their self-confident attitude. The old phrase, "you are known by the company you keep" may not be just an empty phrase.By associating with confident people, your own level of confidence is sure to improve.
- Don't give up - keep going and trying out your confidence building techniques even when it seems hopeless.Hardships and adversity are a necessary part of life that can help strengthen you and prepare you for future hard-earned successes.
- It may seem difficult, but a warm, genuine personality is a must when building confidence. If you are a fake, others will be aware and may reject you.By the way, don't take rejection as permanent - keep practicing your confidence building skills. Remember, you've got to crawl before you can walk.
- You must develop the power within you to be successful at confidence building. This means to accept reality that you are not self-confident at the moment, but that you desire to be so and then make it happen.Draw from your inner strength that has been there all your life and develop it into a positive personality trait.
- Be enthusiastic and take on new challenges with a smile. If you want to become self confident you must work at it constantly.Go to that party that you'd rather skip and let others know you are there and have a lot to contribute. They will recognize you as a most desirable person to get to know better.
- You must desperately want to improve your lot in life, and you must want to do it now.
If you are tired of being alone with no friends, you should remember that you must be a friend to have a friend.Instead of hanging back and waiting for someone else to make the first move toward friendship, initiate a conversation yourself. You may find the best friend you ever had.
3 Ways to Start a Great Conversation
Many people worry about how to start a conversation. While other people instinctively know how to start a conversation and it comes almost naturally.
Are you comfortable that you know how to start a conversation? Do you become tongue tied not sure what to say? If you are not then there are many valuable resources available to help you learn the art of conversation.
Here are three simple ways that you can learn how to start a conversation and keep it going.
- Be confident in yourself. Consider that the other person has an interest in what it is you have to say. Sometimes people have trouble with conversation because of a lack of confidence in themselves.The irony is that even if you are only pretending to be confident other people will assume that you are confident. They will then be more responsive to what you say and it becomes easier to engage them in conversation.
- Think of a compliment. A great way to start a conversation is by complimenting someone to. For example, you might say, "By the way Susan that was an excellent presentation you gave today."Tell someone you like his new car, his shoes, his hair or the way he talks and you will have set the scene for a friendly chat.It is very hard for anyone to resist positive feedback. We all love to hear sincere compliments and we then feel compelled to treat the giver of the compliment favorably.
- Ask the other person questions about themselves. There's no better way to start a conversation than ask someone a question about themselves.Most people love to talk about themselves. If you ask someone a question about themselves you will most likely not have to do any other talking throughout the rest of the conversation.
And most likely that personal will leave the conversation thinking very highly of you because you cared so much about them and their interests.They will certainly consider that you are a great conversationalist even though you may have said very little.
These three simple tips are all you need to learn how to start a conversation and keep it going. Not only are the above tips helpful in learning how to start a conversation but they will also work in keeping a conversation flowing.
Listening Is As Important As Speaking
Are you searching for ways to improve your conversation skills?
While engaging in conversations with friends and co-workers, how often do you feel that the other person has truly heard what you've said?
If you want to succeed in social settings, relationships, and business, one way to ensure your success is to be a great listener.
There are a few simple rules you can follow to help you become a better listener, therefore enhancing your conversation skills.
- Stop talking.It sounds very simplistic but if you are constantly talking, how can others express themselves? Make an effort to shift the focus of the conversation to the other person.Be aware of your own body language. Match the other person's body language by leaning forward when they lean forward, etc.Attention to small details will give the person you are speaking with a feeling that you truly hear what they are saying and that you are genuinely interested in their opinions.If you sit with your arms crossed, constantly check your watch, or stare out the window, the person with whom you are speaking will feel that you are distant and disinterested.
- Pay attention to the tone of your voice.Even if you are only giving brief answers or asking short questions, the tone of your voice plays a major part in communicating effectively.If your tone suggests a condescending attitude, boredom, or anger, you will lose your audience and people will no longer want to spend time speaking with you or listening to what you have to say.A respectful, preferably friendly tone will allow you to communicate efficiently and earn you the respect of others.
- In order to move the conversation forward, ask questions to clarify or invite additional information. Questions indicate that you are fully attentive to what is being said and that you have a real interest in the speaker's views.Give your full attention to the speaker. When you show others that you want to hear them, they will automatically grant you the same courtesy.Maintain eye contact and always face the speaker. You will be able to express your own views much more effectively if you have the full attention of your audience.If you give your full attention, you will certainly receive the same in return.
- Engage in light, pleasant conversation as often as you engage in meaningful, direct conversation.If you always guide the conversation in the direction of achieving your goal, you will leave the impression of distance and a superior attitude.You will get a much more favorable response if you relate to others on a personal level as well as in a professional or authoritative manner.
People want to feel appreciated and unique. Make a point to address each person you encounter and do so in a positive, friendly manner.
Conversation skills include treating others as you would like to be treated.Good conversation skills include much more than simply speaking with others.
Listening, good body language, questioning, pleasantries, and mutual respect are important elements in any conversation and are also personality traits exhibited by successful people.You can improve your image and your ability to communicate if you follow these simple guidelines when communicating with others.
6 Secrets To Better Conversation Skills
Conversation is an important skill in almost everysituation. Whether it's on the job, with spouse orchildren, in a social setting or everyday life,conversation is important.It's the way we communicate with others and often is thenthe way we are seen or perceived by others.
Honing your conversation skills will allow you to feel more at ease when conversing with others and will help you say what you really want to convey.
- Think about your tone, it should be pleasing, not tooloud or too soft.If you are talking too loudly you might be considered anunpleasant conversationalist and who will want to talk toyou?If you are speaking too softly and people have to strain tohear you, they might get tired of trying to listen.
- Think about some things you might need or want to saybefore you are at that job interview or party.It will be helpful to think this through and even practiceout loud. You will come across as being confident andintelligent.
- Don't feel you need to dominate a conversation.Even if you are quite charming it won't be long beforeothers are weary of hearing the same voice.There used to be a rule about conversation in certainAfrican tribes. When a person rose to speak they wererequired to stand on one foot while speaking. As soon asthe other foot touched the ground, their turn was over.Keep this in mind.
- How will you handle unpleasant conversations?What will you do if you are criticized or if someonedisagrees with you? Think of ways to face thesesituations before they happen.If you can remain calm and fairly pleasant during the toughtalks you will improve your conversation skills. You willalso earn a reputation as someone who can easily be talkedto.
- Think of your last embarrassing conversation.How did you do? Could there be improvement? If the answeris "yes" begin by figuring out why the conversationwas embarrassing.Let's say someone asked you when you are planning to havechildren. Even though this may not be anyone's business howdo you want to respond?You do have choices. You can be funny, charming, rude orelusive. Again, plan ahead for some of these questions anddecide how you want to react.
- One of the most important parts of communication islistening. It's a gift and a skill, one that you candevelop if it doesn't come easily for you.
There once was a woman who thought she had a hearingproblem, even her friends told her she couldn't hear.Often she would ask them to repeat parts of a conversation.Finally after several months she made an appointment withan audiologist.
The doctor decided to forego the newest technology and use his favorite, less techno approach. He held his pocketwatch up and asked the woman if she could hear the ticking.She could so the doctor got up and walked behind the womanand asked if she could still hear the watch ticking. She could with no problem.
The doctor continued this test by moving further andfurther away from the woman and each time she could hear the ticking of the watch. After the doctor finished the testing he told the woman that her hearing was fine but she needed some help with her listening.
Don't forget to listen because it is essential for good conversation skills!
Like the woman in this story...You can change your life and now is the time to start.Exceptional communication skills can be learned...
Communication Skills For Interpersonal Relationships
Interpersonal relationships are tricky and complicated, and there is sometimes a power play by one party or the other.
This power is achieved by one's ability to speak clearly and get the message across to the other person.Dominance over the other person is often not the issue, and you must recognize that there is a difference between being aggressive and being assertive.
These communication skills tips will help you determine whether you are aggressive or assertive...
- If you are a verbal bully who picks on anybody you come in contact with, you're relaying a message that you are aggressive, otherwise known as a control freak.Aggressiveness is good in some instances (as in defending yourself against physical abuse), but aggressive verbal bullies are generally people who have no self-esteem who try to bolster their ego by threatening others with their manner of speech and body language.The verbal bully generally finds a good target in a shy, retiring person who is non-assertive and lacks communications skills as well.
- On the other hand, assertiveness is a desirable characteristic, but it has to be done in the right way.Assertiveness is the art of projecting yourself as someone who is persistently positive and confident. If you allow yourself to be bullied around, you are vulnerable and do not have the ability to defend yourself.If you are too unsure of yourself to speak up and defend yourself or stand up for what is right, you need help from the many self-help books giving communication skills tips or a professional counselor who will educate you in the basic skill of self-assertion.This may involve changing some of your personal traits such as being too passive, sensitive, and insecure.
- One of the first steps in learning communication skills is to study and practice communications skills strategies that are readily available on-line and in book stores.You must have self-confidence and raise your level of self-esteem to its highest level if you want to be effective in the way you communicate with others.Once you gain self-confidence, you will automatically begin to communicate better.
Small successes may lead to bigger and better successes in every aspect of your life, thereby increasing your self-confidence.You should gain communications skills not only to get your point across, but also to learn how to develop a support group via the friendships you will form.A friend can help you through difficult social situations, personal relationships, in your job or studies, and can give you friendly advice and encouragement in the areas of your appearance, on moral and ethical issues and even give you tips on how to improve yourself so that your body language communicates your self-confidence to others.
Some very basic communication skills tips that will help you now are:
- Offer positive input, support and suggestions to co-workers and friends.
- Ask friendly questions to get a conversation started, but don't pry.
- Offer support and enthusiasm to others by making positive statements.
- Realize that sometimes no matter how hard you try, you may fail in your efforts to communicate with others - don't take it personally.
Study communication skills to help you get on the right track. The more ways to communicate you can think of, the more successful you will be.
Six Top Mistakes Mentioned by Seminar Participants
1. Blabbermouthing. Talking too much, way out of balance. Going on and on without giving others their turn. The person who hogs the talk-channel soon frustrates others, and they tune out the blabbermouth. Involved in their own monologues, blabbers feel some satisfaction in carrying on – even when they have lost the attention of their listener. Some professionals suffer from a kind of occupational hazard talking too much – professors, clergy, speakers, and doctors and others who are paid for advice, or to talk for a living.
2. Take-aways and me-toos. You begin a topic and your listener grabs it away and focuses on himself with me-centered talk. You say, “I saw a great movie last weekend . . .” and the listener says, “Oh? I saw a movie, too . . .” and begins to describe it. You who brought up the movie topic can’t complete your thought because it’s been high-jacked. This is a very childlike and frustrating behavior, and eventually drives people away.
3. Unsolicited advice. Some people are quick to give advice as soon as you mention a problem or issue. Phrases like “Have you thought of . . .? and “Why don’t you . . .?” spout quickly from their mouths, which makes them feel wise while they treat you as ignorant. Males seem especially prone to this tendency to be “fixers,” although women are not immune from it. Professional know-it-alls who are used to being advice-givers often carry over this behavior when it’s not appropriate. Teachers, lawyers, ministers, and counselors, for example.. When offering unsolicited advice to friends and family, the advice-giver assumes the expert or parenting role, and that puts us off. It would
be better if they let us finish and then, perhaps, to ask “Are you asking for my opinion?” or “What alternatives have you thought of?”
4. Interrupting. Those who butt in before we have completed our thought. Usually interrupters do this because they are impatient and afraid they won’t be able to express their thoughts. Like children vying for attention, interrupters jump in before you’ve finished, maybe with an argument, maybe with their opinion. Whatever the reason, interruptions are annoying. At their worst, interrupters become verbal bullies. You can see this behavior with some talk-show hosts who don’t let their guests finish before they butt in. According to some producers, this combat and conflict make for exciting listening. Maybe so. In everyday conversation, it’s a terrible annoyance.
5. Contradicting. One of the ultimate conversation-blockers. Although a ploy of structured debate, direct disagreement is not helpful in conversation, which is at its best when it’s a collaboration. “I disagree with you” or the more tactful “Yes, BUT…” occur in many conversations and are another form of the “I’m right, you’re wrong” game. (If chocolate is right, must vanilla be wrong? Or just different?) As my surveys show, a better way is to hear the other’s opinion, check that you understand it, then offer “My view is different from yours. Let me explain.” When we feel heard and understood we are more likely to listen to others and their views.
6. Stingy contributor. Listens, receives, and takes, but doesn’t give back in return. Or likes to complain to us but doesn’t like to listen to our concerns. Shows very little interest, offers no useful information, doesn’t even give acknowledgement or thanks for what he receives. Is a “taker” and doesn’t lift a conversation. Likes to pick the brains of others, but contributes nothing. This cautious, ungenerous style causes an out-of-balance conversation in which real trust is unavailable.
It’s always easier to be aware of another’s conversational mistakes than our own. Our own mistakes are so habitual, they easily escape our notice. We are just being ourselves, right?
When you become frustrated or annoyed in a conversation, there is a good chance the other converser is exhibiting one of these mistakes. You see how that mistake causes problems and, with new awareness, you can eliminate it in yourself. You can ask yourself, “Do I do that?”
How To Master The Art of Conversation - 4 Tips for Success
The art of conversation is a skill shared by most successful people. Good conversation promotes an image of self-confidence, intelligence, and wittiness.
People who always seem to rise to the top of their professions and are well respected by others who share the ability to converse with anybody in every situation.People who seem to speak effortlessly and efficiently with others are generally well liked and highly successful.
If you need to improve your conversational skills, here are a few tips that can help you enhance your conversational skills and boost your image.
- Always say what you think, not what you think others want you to say. Especially in a professional setting, learning to express your views and ideas in a positive, non-threatening manner will invite reactions and responses.Effective leaders always say what they are thinking and express their ideas freely. Having the courage to speak your mind as well as listening openly to the views and ideas of others is a sure way to earn the respect and admiration of all those you encounter.
- Listen carefully to what others are saying. People often interpret things said by others in a way that clouds their ability to hear what people are intending to say.By giving your full attention to the speaker, you can hear what they intend for you to hear instead of what you want to hear.The art of conversation includes the ability to listen to others as well as the ability to speak effectively.
- Always assume that a speaker is saying exactly what they mean to say. Even if it seems unclear, try to find meaning and coherence to the words they are saying and give them the respect of hearing what they want you to hear.In any conversation, the ability to give respect is just as important as receiving it. The art of conversation is a give and take between parties, not one speaker and one listener.
- Any conversation can be broken down into three parts.The first part is small talk. Small talk is dictated by social rules and includes polite greetings, inquiries about the well-being of others, etc.Stage two is the end of the small talk and moving on to the purpose of the conversation such as business, the sharing of opinions and personal views.Without the ability to express yourself efficiently, the conversation can easily slip back into small talk, lessening the chances of accomplishing the initial goal of the conversation.
The third part of a conversation is where the various ideas and views expressed can be merged into a satisfying end for all parties involved in the conversation.The art of conversation is a learned skill that is common among successful, energetic people.
If you are unable to effectively express yourself in any situation, you will likely find that you do not attract the attention and command the respect that is bestowed upon some others.People who talk freely and easily with others usually find more professional and personal fulfillment than those who are introverted and silent.
If you want to improve your professional and social standing, learn to communicate efficiently and in a positive manner.You will notice a dramatic difference in the way other people perceive you if you demonstrate self-confidence and project a friendly, informed image.
4 Important Conversation Tips for Your Personal and Professional Lives
If you are searching for a way to improve your communication skills at work and in your personal life, here are some conversation tips that will give you a good starting point.Your personal and business environments may be very different, but the skills needed to communicate effectively are basically the same.
If you are attentive, informed, and a great listener, you can start a conversation with almost anyone in any situation.
- If you need to improve your conversational skills in the workplace, look around at those who seem to continually advance in their profession. Notice how they speak with other employees, from the CEO to the janitor. A friendly smile, a firm handshake, and a confident attitude are generally common factors among those who are quickly moving up the corporate ladder.By making a conscious effort to speak with everyone you encounter and displaying a friendly, self-assured attitude, you will project a successful image and make lasting impressions upon co-workers.
- Your personal life is no different in that a positive outlook and friendly disposition will go a long way in improving your relationships with friends and family members.Everyone you encounter, from your spouse to the clerk at your local convenience store will appreciate and respond favorably to a kind word and a smiling face.By paying attention to the interests and activities of others, you will never lack for conversation. Ask about the other person's day, future plans, or any subject that you know is of interest to them.You can easily converse with everyone you meet if you listen carefully and make a real effort to project a positive image.
- If you want to always have plenty to say to co-workers and your employer, keep up to date on the latest developments in your particular field.Read trade magazines, company literature, and search web sites. Having the ability to hold an intelligent conversation about your line of work will make you invaluable in your company and allow you to communicate effectively.Be discreet and professional in your conversations with other employees. No supervisor will begrudge you a few moments of small talk now and then, but constant chatting and talking across the room to others is distracting and unprofessional.Chat for a few minutes when your workload allows, but keep it quiet and courteous.
- Courtesy, genuine interest, and a little preparation will give you an advantage in your ability to converse with others.Make a mental note of things of interest that can be used to start a conversation and give you an edge in the workplace.Current events, local politics, and the activities of others will always make good conversation starters whether at home or at the office.Conversational tips include common courtesy, a positive attitude, and a little planning. If you observe a few simple rules, your communication skills will improve dramatically.
These conversation tips should be enough to get you started down the path of successful communication. The ability to carry on a conversation with very little effort is a learned skill that comes easier to some than others.
If you need to improve your conversational skills, practice these tips each day and pretty soon they will be habits that come naturally.
How to Start a Conversation Effortlessly - 5 Essential Tips
If you are one of the millions who have difficulty in starting and participating in conversations, you should realize that life's successes and failures are closely related to the quality of your communication skills.
The ability to converse effortlessly with those you encounter is a critical component of all your personal and business relationships.Good communication skills promote an image of self-confidence and intelligence.
This is not to say that those people who find it hard to strike up a conversation are less intelligent.They simply need to develop the appropriate skills. If you need to improve upon your communication skills, here are a few tips to help you get started down the right path.You can learn how to start a conversation and converse with anybody, anytime.
- In order to make interesting conversation, you must be interesting to others. Keeping yourself informed on current events, staying involved in activities, and keeping a mental list of good topics of discussion are excellent ways to break the ice. And a great tool to help you learn how to start a conversation with almost anybody.
- Instead of focusing on how uncomfortable you feel, prepare yourself by thinking of the issues that interest you most and what you would like to discuss about a particular subject.A little preparation will go a long way in enabling you to easily converse with others. Don't be afraid to ask questions.In general, people like to talk about themselves and will respond favorably when asked simple, friendly questions. Learning how to start a conversation is not quite as difficult if you prepare in advance.
- Make an effort to be a good listener when starting a conversation. After you make the initial effort, listen closely to the other person's response.Often you'll find an invitation to continue the conversation if you listen carefully and respond accordingly. Balance is the key in any conversation.Alternate between talking and listening to what the other person is saying and make additional comments as appropriate.Learning how to start a conversation is really just using good manners and showing a genuine interest in others.
- Even if you find it extremely difficult, always greet those you encounter with a smile and look them directly in the eye.It may be hard at first, but self-confidence is a learned skill and by acting confidently, you will gain new self-confidence.Soon enough you will notice that it is not as hard to maintain eye contact and carry on a conversation. Act confidently and you will eventually become confident.Developing self-confidence is an important part of learning how to start a conversation.
- Try to remember small details about co-workers and acquaintances. Asking about a weekend plan or a relative is an excellent way to start a conversation and show genuine interest in those around you.If you are interesting, attentive, and act with confidence you will appear to be the kind of person people like to have as a friend.By practicing these new skills until they become second nature, you will increase your own self-esteem and learn how to start a conversation easily.Learning how to start a conversation is really just a process of practicing your social skills until they become a habit.
Repetition and determination are the most important factors in building your level of confidence and conversing effortlessly in any situation.What else can you do to take charge of even the most difficult conversations?
