Tuesday, August 09, 2005

The 12 Reasons Why You Should Never Neglect People Skills

  • Exceptional people skills and the ability to start a wonderful conversation with anyone you meet are essential life skills. Your success and happiness are directly related to the development of these social skills.These skills are not optional unless you want to be excluded from what is going on in the world.
  • In an increasingly competitive world it is your skill with people that determines whether you move ahead more so than your technical ability. There is a plentiful supply of able workers but very few have great communication skills.
  • In your social life - your popularity, your acceptance by others and the extent to which you feel valued and appreciated depends on how well you express yourself.
  • The failure to connect with people leads to loneliness and an uncomfortable sense of being excluded. And too much time spent alone when you would rather be enjoying the company of like minded people.
  • Your degree of happiness is very closely tied to the quality of the relationships in your life. The more close relationships you have with people who genuinely care about you the happier you will be. And all lasting relationships depend on good communication skills.
  • Life will always have its ups and downs. The good times are even more fun when you are with people you like. And the bad days are easier to handle when you can turn to others for support and encouragement.None of this is feasible without the ability to reach out when you need to most of all.
  • When you reach the top of success mountain will people even care? If you do it alone you may well jump over the edge! True success is a team effort. You will get ahead faster and enjoy the journey much more when you have a team of supporters, helpers and mentors on your side.
  • Making a difference for others is one of the most satisfying ways to feel like your time here is worthwhile. However, positive intentions alone are not enough. You still need to be able to get through to people if you are to really make an impact in the lives of people who need your help.
  • When you get to the end of your life do you want titles or testimonials? Qualifications, awards and a track record of achievement are all worthwhile. Just be sure you also make a positive impression on the people you come into contact with.Otherwise - do any of those successes really matter?
  • In a global marketplace job insecurity is becoming the norm. At some point you may need to change job or enter a new industry. You might even need to move to a different state.The only way to ensure a smooth transition is to develop exceptional people skills now.
  • Your happiness in life depends on how much love you feel. Consequently you owe it to yourself to have a great home life and rich friendships with a wide range of people you like and care about. To connect with people requires you to have good communication skills.
  • High income professionals understand the importance of people skills. Research demonstrates that top executives network extensively in the organization, know how to get people to support them and put time into fostering good working relationships with people of influence.

Neglect communication skills and you limit your happiness and success. And by default you give others control over your life. The only way to be the master of your destiny is to take charge. Know what you really want and have the courage to stand up and be counted.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

The 3 Ways To Turn Conversation Fear Into Courage

Have you ever found yourself in a social setting feeling awkward, stuck for words and unsure of what to say and how to say it?Maybe you were at a large family gathering such as a wedding or a birthday party.

Regardless of the context you know the uncomfortable feelings that can stop you from speaking up and enjoying yourself.What can you do to beat conversation fear?
  • Be Yourself --Take it easy and don´t put yourself under undue pressure to be the life and soul of the party. Be yourself. And if that isn´t good enough for some people then be selective and mix with people more to your liking.It is your choice who YOU mix with so don´t be passive and leave it to others to decide if they want to talk to you.You get to choose!
  • Respect Conversational Give And Take --People tend to gravitate to people who are good listeners so don´t feel that you have to talk until you are blue in the face. It is perfectly acceptable to be quiet, to listen and to encourage others to talk.Good conversation is about give and take so develop both of these aspects of conversation skills. Start to get a feel for the dance of conversation and the ebb and flow of how people interact and let the conversation take on a life of its own.You are only one of the players - give and take, talk and listen, lead and follow.
  • Deal With Fear --We all have to deal with fear to improve the quality of our lives and our social interactions. The secret is to transform fear into courage by taking charge of our emotional states.Thankfully, this is a skill anyone can learn and the implications for your life are huge. Imagine, how you will feel when you can approach even perfect strangers with an air of confident self assurance.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

The 3 Ways to Guarantee Superior People Skills

Success is an inside job! How well you communicate depends on how you think and feel. You can have the greatest script in the world but still stumble in conversation if nerves get the better of you.On the other hand you can exude confidence and charm and still make a poor first impression if you do not know the right thing to say.In each case the key to transforming failure into success lies within.

You need to appreciate how important mental and emotional conditioning are when it comes to developing superior people skills.---

The 3 Ways to Guarantee Superior People Skills ---

  • Regard conversation skills as another skill you plan to master.Making people like you is an acquired skill. You can learn how to encourage others to listen to you. Also, making a great first impression is a matter of knowing how to.Treat communication skills as a step by step formula to be uncovered and learned. If even one other person can do it well then so can you once you learn how.When you stop giving yourself a hard time for your past performance and instead commit to learning how to be better you can improve very quickly.
  • Take charge of your emotional state.The greatest speech can be destroyed by a dull voice tone and the best joke can lose its humor when it isn´t delivered properly.All too often in your desire to do well you freeze and choose to say nothing in case you make a fool of yourself. Then people say you are too quite and it starts to seem as if you can never win.Speak up and sound foolish or stay quiet and get criticized. Some choice!Fear is getting the better of you. Your fear of what might go wrong can take on a life of its own unless you take charge of your emotional state.What is the answer? The key is to develop the ability to eliminate fear - fear of rejection, the fear of looking stupid and the fear of saying the wrong thing.
  • Allow yourself to make mistakes.One of the biggest errors I see people making is the all or nothing attitude. i.e. I will give it my best and if I fail I will never try again! The challenge with that attitude is that human beings learn by trial and error.None of us were born with the ability to walk, talk or drive a car! We learn all the crucial life skills by observing, experimenting and correcting our mistakes.If you demand 100% success and perfection you will be very disappointed and you will never develop exceptional people skills.On the other hand when you allow yourself to make mistakes it takes a lot of the pressure off you. You will perform a lot better when you allow yourself to be less than perfect - a work in progress that is always maturing.

Mistakes then become evidence of areas for improvement. Get fascinated by how you achieve both good results and not so good results. Notice what is working and do more of it, notice what is not working and aim to do less of it.

One improvement after another is all it takes. Each little modification to your approach will take you closer and closer to a breakthrough.